Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Spurious February 12th Edition

We have yet again received an other worldly prognostication from the Spurious Nib’s very own, Sarah P. Needles reporting from Kenosha, Wisconsin. 

Prognosticator Parthena Bergere Bleue related a rather unusual vision this week regarding President Lincoln. Mrs. Bleue said she was caring for her newest liter of kitten’s (aka Mr. Tom’s Pride) when her left eye began to twitch. Clearly some great spirit from the beyond was crossing the gray threshold to deliver a message. The following is my transcription Of the message transmitted vie Mrs. Bleue.

Dearest Reader, on February 12, 1809 America’s most beloved thespian president was born. But alas his days were cut short by a two bit playing scalawag. Yes, yes, the horse figure, Old Bob and that form of an angelic feline Miss Toe Beans are telling me the sorrows that befell their dear souls on that fateful eve. My heart breaks!
In that dimmed light Miss Bean began insisting on a new tradition to mark the blessed occasion upon which Abraham graced this mortal coil. She had noted the many times our beloved President would bathe as the feline would sun herself nearby. And so it is that all good patriots shall bathe in his great honor every February 12th.

At this Parthena’s voice trailed off and her left eye stopped twitching. She immediately enlisted the aid of her son Morgan to draw a bathe, “lest Miss Toe Beans become angry.”

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