Spurious Histories

And now for some spurious historical events...

In 1930 Crisco tried to help the country out of the Great Depression by marketing, "Sunny-Side-Up Eggs-In-A-Can."

In 1895 Gertrude Flimheiser won the Golden Birler Shoe award after wetting all 10 of her opponents in Milwaukee's 10th Annual Women's Beer Barrel Rolling contest.

On this day in 1919, the Monty brothers collected three quarters, a tin whistle, a cigar butt and a brass button after begging on Forty Second street in New York City whilst standing on a phone book.

On August 20, 1905, Thomas Pertwith realized every time he walked with his gal, Betty, he thought of beer. On August 21, 1905 Thomas asked for Betty's hand in marriage.

Spurious Scholars Discover.......

Scholars have discovered why children develop a fear of math. Psyches have been damaged so much by this horrific discovery that people actually forget being subjected to this didactic method. 
Baggy the Binomial Clown (he used to work with Tingles the Triangle), has been used by math teachers for years to help our children learn basic math skills. 
Baggy's favorite gag is to ask a child to, “look into the Face of a Polyhedron.” When the child leans towards the Face Baggy squirts them with water, and then Baggy yells, “That's a Lateral Face!!”