Spurious Nib Valentine's Day

The Spurious Nib

Volume 11

Spurious Nib #21

Records indicate in Connecticut, 1897, Miss Beatrice Wentworth set the first state record for circumambulating her English hound, “Freddy” for ten minutes and 32 seconds.

Zaqan’s Royal Beard Oil

Keep your beard healthful & smooth.

Look for Zaqan’s Royal Beard Oil in the cobalt blue bottle!

Spurious Nib #18

The ancient Egyptians loved playing volleyball!

Spurious Nib #947 

 In 1912 Billy Buskey lost his right shoe; size 32D. And boy, oh boy was he mad!

 

Spurious Nib #67

Vitriol, Tennessee: Reports indicate that Luther Ironmonger was discovered running through the streets yelling, “gitch-yer-gotchies, gitch-yer-gotchies” repeatedly Thursday morning after he was harassed by his neighbors who discovered he wears union suits.

Spurious Nib #89

The word conflation is Old French meaning, “a crook who steals balloons from children.”

The Spurious Nib

Volume 10

 Shoes too small, shoes too tight?

Try Buskey Shoes, “They’re just right!”

 The Buskey Shoe Company, Sandusky, Ohio.

Spurious Nib #57

On December 24^th 1910 Bunkie Fuzzbutton discovered he could make crepes on his printing press (not to be confused with the ‘crepe’ we see 116 years later).

Spurious Nib #207

In the land of the Dutch, young boys are forced to carry large conies to and from school.

Please Note: This month’s Spurious Nib Lecture Series will continue to be held at the L’homme Parle Hall located at the south end of Boleslao University on the 16^th at 7:30pm.

Famed Egyptian elocutionist, Dr. Parbar Farquhar will be debating Dr. Mayer Windfeller on the elementary edifice of conjunctions in post-Ankhesenamun Egypt.

It is with great pleasure that I present to you, Dear Reader, excerpts from past editions of The Spurious Nib.

Sincerely,

Dusty “Nibs” Japes

S. B. s’ Archivist.

The Spurious Nib

Volume 6

Missing - one large shoe, right shoe; size 32D. Contact Billy Buskey, 201 Trotters St. Apt.#8, Sandusky, Ohio

Spurious Nib #42

 

The 1920 version of Frosty included a scene where

Sally Singleton’s cousin Jeanette Blyth (inset)

strangles the snowman after he predicts Wham!'s

'Last Christmas' would still be played 32 years

after it was released.

A Real Show Stopper!

Soprano Viola Zippler made quite an amazing impression in the Fortune Theatre Tuesday evening. The queen of vaudeville’s Shoe Box circuit was in top form as she belted out our favorite patriotic melodies including the, “Army Calvary Cake Walk.” The finale of Zippler’s act places her in a cannon-Champaign bottle. You won’t be disappointed at the heights she attains!

Spurious Nib #61

 

In 1951 Dr. Lucius M. Flemhorn (noted History professor and Genealogy expert) upon discovering he was not a doctor and his name was not Lucius M. Flemhorn removed his smoking jacket, set down his pipe and began wearing Dickies.

Spurious Nib #12

In 1912 Mr. Nord H. Blushingham tripped over a size 32D shoe. Upon recovering his senses he hobbled off in fear of meeting said shoe owner.