Friday, December 22, 2017

Santa's Second Favorites!

Spurious Christmas Santa Facts!

At the Spurious Nib we've grown quite tired of all those top ten list. And we tired of hearing people singing about a few of their favorite things. Therefore, we have asked archivist Dusty “Nibs” Japes to search for some spurious facts about Santa Claus. Dusty learned Santa's beloved elves have a list of all of Santa's most favorites. Here are some of his second most favorites:

When the Big Guy's sleigh is not available: only the 1919 Pierce Arrow Seven-passenger Touring Car with the 48 H. P. engine will do.
Second favorite Christmas song: Krampus' duet with Alice Cooper covering "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"
No hot chocolate? Second favorite: Candy Cane Milkshake

Second favorite cookie: Krumkake

His second favorite brother is Billy. His first favorite is Kevin:
It turns out Santa's second most favorite city is Akron, Ohio! "Hey Prancer, do you know why Akron is my second favorite city? Because Akron always has a 'Good Year.' Hope you're not, 'tired' of that one!" (By the way, that is Santa's eleventh most funny thing to say as he sleighs out of Ohio. In case you are wondering his most favorite tire company is Firestone!)

Merry Christmas!