Happy New Year!

Dusty “Nibs” Japes, Maximus Tornblatt, Lum Glowerman, Shoebox Phil, Lum Glowerman, Dr. Mayer Windfeller, Bunkie Fuzzbutton, and the whole cast of spurious characters would like to wish you a Happy New Year!

Santa's Second Favorites!

Spurious Christmas Santa Facts!

At the Spurious Nib we've grown quite tired of all those top ten list. And we tired of hearing people singing about a few of their favorite things. Therefore, we have asked archivist Dusty “Nibs” Japes to search for some spurious facts about Santa Claus. Dusty learned Santa's beloved elves have a list of all of Santa's most favorites. Here are some of his second most favorites:

When the Big Guy's sleigh is not available: only the 1919 Pierce Arrow Seven-passenger Touring Car with the 48 H. P. engine will do.

Second favorite Christmas song: Krampus' duet with Alice Cooper covering "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

No hot chocolate? Second favorite: Candy Cane Milkshake

Second favorite cookie: Krumkake

His second favorite brother is Billy. His first favorite is Kevin:

It turns out Santa's second most favorite city is Akron, Ohio! "Hey Prancer, do you know why Akron is my second favorite city? Because Akron always has a 'Good Year.' Hope you're not, 'tired' of that one!" (By the way, that is Santa's eleventh most funny thing to say as he sleighs out of Ohio. In case you are wondering his most favorite tire company is Firestone!)

Merry Christmas!

The Spurious Nib Thanksgiving Edition

On November 11, 1620 a small band of Religious Separatists along with the Crew of the Mayflower signed a Social Compact to “maintain order and establish a civil society.”¹

Our merry band of spurious reporters have uncovered a sub-clause in the Social Contract that allows relatives to “talk turkey and politics whilst standing on one foot, and facing England, the said opinion shall be sung to the tune of, "Mein G'müt ist mir verwirret" ("Confused are all my feelings")² 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

¹https://www.plimoth.org/learn/just-kids/homework-help/mayflower-and-mayflower-compact²http://meaningfulworship.blogspot.com/2015/03/17th-century-ethnodoxology-o-sacred.html

The Spurious Nib is on temporary hiatus.

Please check here for the reason the Spurious Nib is on temporary hiatus.

The Spurious Nib

Volume 21

Spurious Nib#116


Handy & Lorna Shiner won the 1867 Summer Solstice Awkward Dancing Award

Spurious Ad Nib

Please Note: The Proper Nomenclature & Exact Pronunciation Society will meet at the L’homme Parle Hall located at the south end of Boleslao University on the 25th at 7:30pm. The lecture is entitled, The Proper Correction of Clergy During Sacred Readings, will be provided by  Virginia Schrillen.

Spurious Nib#490

In 1897 Radcliff (aka Raddy) & Elbert (aka Kevin) Phelps (of Oxlip, MN) became the first Americans convicted of grand theft auto. Raddy and Kevin spied Mr. B. G. Velhelm starting his new Stanley Steamer Motor Carriage, pushed him aside and tried to drive away. Unfortunately, Raddy did not know where to feed the charcoal briquettes. An argument ensued between the two brothers, the motor carriage stalled and that allowed time for their arrest!


Spurious Nib#97

The masked, heroic character Zorro was based on a young man named Wilbur Wentworth. It is true that Wilbur was not Spanish but he was known to don a mask, mount his penny-farthing, yell, "Whammo!" and swoosh his pen knife in a "W" shape.

Happy Spurious Father's Day!

Spurious Nib #151



It is true that Charlie Chan, famous Hawaiian detective had 14 children. A spurious rumor maintains that every Father's Day Chan's offspring would randomly switch places with various neighbor children to see how long it would take the great detective to discover which ones were really his!

Spurious Nib #79

Every Father's Day, Robert L. Billingsly shares his life stories with his beloved wife and children through the magic of shadow puppetry. When "Pops" was done the whole family joined in a rousing rendition of Remember When You Were a Kid? (The Faygo 'Boat' Song).

Spurious Nib #214

Infamous outlaw James McKinney held up his dear, old, father every Father's Day starting when he James was ten years old.











Spurious Nib #486

Amateur opera singer and itinerant bric-a-brac salesman Arthur Schwenck taught his unborn child the lyrics to Gilbert & Sullivan's, Modern Major General (from the Pirates of the Penzance). Upon birth little Stanley could sing it flawlessly.

The Spurious Nib

Volume 20

Spurious Nib#9



The first use of "wakah wakah" by a professional comedian took place in 957 BCE at the Laughing Gator Club in Thebes, Egypt. Famous Egyptian ventriloquist, Hepu and his dummy, Koko opened with, "Hey Koko you know how to do the Watusi?" "No, but I know how to wakah wakah like an Egyptian!"






Spurious Nib#27
Ice cream magnate J. F. McCullough trained his favorite bear named Dilly to serve him a root-beer float every evening after dinner.









Spurious Nib#70
Amateur ophthalmologist and Lake Erie ornithologist expert, Giles D. Flique forced his wife Betty to wear a bird cage on her head so that she could "see the world as birds do." Mrs. Flique responded later that evening by forcing her husband to wear a cast iron frying pan so that he could "see how scrambled eggs see the world."

Spurious Nib#160

Major Norbert Flambeau once led and entire flock of flamingos across Zimbabwe in hopes of finding the Garden of Eden. After the flamingos were eaten by a pride of albino, pygmy lions the expedition became known as the Flambeau Follies (not to be confused with the 1973 Flambeau Follies on ice staring JoJo Starbuck).