The Spurious Nib’s History of Social Distancing Part One

Report filed by Dr. Mayer Windfeller.

Whilst many of you have been fretting about the current particularities of quarantines in 2020. The Spurious Nib will endeavor to prevaricate upon the unknown origins of “social distancing” that may or may not have assisted the promulgators of your time to conserve what is left of your world.

March 30, 1889. Andrew Tetramov finished creating a grotto on Mount Dzyarzhynskaya as a refuge from the “plague of humanity with their chin wagging confabulations gathering about town to discuss all manner of politics, religion, and flummery!”

 

April 1, 1903. 7AM. Clyde Chubb discovered the amazing health benefits of his home made “Seclusion Box.”

April 1, 1903. 11:22AM. Clyde Chubb discovered his “Seclusion Box” has been enjoyed by the entire Chubb clan.

April 2, 1921. Misanthrope, Hettie Bender discovered, “the look” availed her the solitude she had always longed for.

April 3, 1918. In an effort to thwart the Encephalitis Lethargica quarantine Billy Gueck walked the telegraph lines from Inguadona, Minnesota to Longville, Minnesota in order to buy a box of cigars.

Another Spurious Nib PSA

The Spurious Nib’s Public Service Announcement

1.Death loves taxes.
2.Death loves playing cards.
3.You can not cheat Death.






















#taxes #death #April 15

The Spurious Nib's St. Patrick's Day 2020

St. Patrick's other brother.

You’ve never read about Patrick’s half brother, Saint Barry. By all The Spurious Nib's accounts Barry should also be celebrated. 

While Patrick was busy chasing snakes with his shamrock, 
Barry noticed Ireland’s health might be in danger. Acting on his own instinct Barry secured a shipment of whiskey and drove the barrels out of the ship and into Sean O' Kepler’s Pub!






March 17 2020
#StPatricksDay
#Shamrock

The Spurious Nib’s Sports Report

The Spurious Nib’s Sports Reporter, Hammond Headley, has a developing story. 

We brought you the story in January of Penelope Just who began the task of reading the entire Bible in the new year. And how she had a bit of trouble around Genesis 10:26.

It has now developed into a sport as her brother Walter has began reading his bible and is determined to race ahead and finish by November!

More details to follow.

Happy Purim!

The Spurious Nib Remembers Purim. 

Do You?

Perhaps you have read the whole book of Esther. Perhaps you remember that so-and-so guy who wanted to exterminate all the Jewish people in Persia. There was Uncle  Mordecai who reminded Esther she had been given a place and purpose (as the wife of the King Ahasuerus) to bring salvation to G_s people. Perhaps you also recall Esther had won a beauty contest. 
The Spurious Nib has discovered one young lady who placed fifth in that contest, Peggy. Thanks to Esther’s obedience, Peggy went on to marry Morey Korman. Morey owned the Shushan Oriental Fabric Company Ltd. They had five boys and eventually retired in Hamat Gader.

Morey & Peggy Korman

475 BCE,Shushan, Persia

Purim March 9, 2020 

The Spurious Nib President’s Day

It is true, President Cleveland was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms (22nd & 24th). What you will never learn is how Cleveland really beat Benjamin Harrison the 23rd President of the United States.

Cleveland's mockingbird, Moocher, flew into Harrison’s White House bedroom window every night and whispered, "More tariffs, more tariffs." Thus Moocher ensured Grover Cleveland's unprecedented win over President Harrison!