Spurious Nib Ash Wednesday

Rev. Emerson Coy Grady, 

of the Fourth Louisiana Baptist Church, 

used Ash Wednesday to force his elders to smoke outside instead of in the foyer. 

Lollygagging, Dilly dallying, and Dawdles

While visiting Paint Lick, Kentucky in August 1877, 

Dr. Mayer Windfeller came to the stunning conclusion that lollygagging is the equivalent of four dawdles while dilly dallying equal almost six dawdles!

(Thanks to Pat Sajak for alerting the Staff about lollygagging vs dilly dallying)

Blood Moon Theory

You might considers this Spurious Astronomy but nonetheless in 1867 Sir Chadwick Arthur Maxwell posited his famous “Blood Moon Theory.”

Sir Maxwell surmised the Planet Mars was so angry at the attention Planet Earth receives from the Sun that Mars tries to destroy the Earth by shooting arrows into the Moon.

(Sir Maxwell was also famous amongst his peers for his "Fem Blu Theory" stating that Women invented laundry bluing to guarantee that men would never master washing clothes.)

Spurious Nib New Years Discoveries

As we bid adieu to 2018 the Spurious Nib would like to remind you to break all your mirrors just after midnight tonight. 
Why? you ask.

On December 31, 1849 Janos Sohler suddenly woke to discover Father Time leaping through his mirror at the stroke of midnight! Upon reflection Sohler realized no one wants to relive everything from from the previous year. Therefore, he broke every mirror in the house so the Mr. Old Year would not return!

Spurious Christmas Safety

Our intrepid reporter to the stars, Halley Orion, discovered December 22nd is the day St. Nicholas and his elves practice Sleigh Flight Rescue Procedures. 

Pictured: Chief Elf Safety Officer Pazzo Pane, St. Nicholas and the elf trainees in the life raft.

Spurious Christmas Visions

Mama Dixon never had visions of sugar-plums dancing while she slumbered. 

But she did wish that Santa would send his elves to clean her kitchen!!

Spurious Christmas Gifts

In 1902 St. Nicholas gave Diana Prince 

his invisible 1909 Edwardian Renault,

 “fitted with a large 4.4 litre 20/30 horsepower, four-cylinder engine coupled to a four- speed transmission and built on a chassis with a 130" wheelbase”.