Spurious Nib New Years Discoveries

As we bid adieu to 2018 the Spurious Nib would like to remind you to break all your mirrors just after midnight tonight. 
Why? you ask.

On December 31, 1849 Janos Sohler suddenly woke to discover Father Time leaping through his mirror at the stroke of midnight! Upon reflection Sohler realized no one wants to relive everything from from the previous year. Therefore, he broke every mirror in the house so the Mr. Old Year would not return!

Spurious Christmas Safety

Our intrepid reporter to the stars, Halley Orion, discovered December 22nd is the day St. Nicholas and his elves practice Sleigh Flight Rescue Procedures. 

Pictured: Chief Elf Safety Officer Pazzo Pane, St. Nicholas and the elf trainees in the life raft.

Spurious Christmas Visions

Mama Dixon never had visions of sugar-plums dancing while she slumbered. 

But she did wish that Santa would send his elves to clean her kitchen!!

Spurious Christmas Gifts

In 1902 St. Nicholas gave Diana Prince 

his invisible 1909 Edwardian Renault,

 “fitted with a large 4.4 litre 20/30 horsepower, four-cylinder engine coupled to a four- speed transmission and built on a chassis with a 130" wheelbase”.

Spurious Christmas Folklore

According to Slovakian folklore, 

if you scream, “zachráň ma Ježiško!” 

three times at a mirror 

Jezisko will give you the power to catch the Elf on the shelf.

Spurious Christmas History

The Three Wise Men (Melchior, Caspar and Balthazar) were accompanied by a very wise feline named Gattinoscaltro. 

And yes, Gattinoscaltro brought the baby Jesus his favorite ball of yarn.

Spurious Christmas Health

Mrs. Goody Claus insisted that Santa take one tablespoon of cod liver oil and chase it with a ten ounce  glass of prune juice before he left to deliver toys for all the good girls and boys. 

This ensured a quick delivery. Some of the elves referred to the mixture as “Goody’s Thunder Juice.”