The Spurious Nib

Volume 18

Spurious Nib#63

Wheel wright Ben Morris loved to pull a fast one on his apprentices by telling them to, "put a little air in that wheel."

Spurious Nib#91

Mortimer Diller spent three weeks organizing his eschatology notes on Dispensationalism when he suddenly fell asleep. Upon waking  he discovered his notes had disappeared.

Spurious Nib#22

Egyptian twin sisters, Tuya and Baktwerel, were the top-billed song and dance act in Memphis, Egypt for six straight years starting in 2225 BCE










Spurious Nib#30

The 7th century monk, Mellin and fellow cleric Herald were sent on a quest to locate Par Bar in Palestine. This was penance for fishing with Father Higby's favorite bamboo fishing rod. The Brothers agreed that the taste of fresh brown trout caught with said tackle was worth every savory bite.
(1Chron26:18KJV)

Trees Moving West

Just saw this msn weather headline and had to answer the question, 
"Why are the trees moving west?"


Duh! The Ents are looking for their wives.

Special Edition: Happy Fishing Opener & Happy Mother's Day

Spurious Nib #52




Torvald Squit taught his pet codfish
Lewis to spit on command.








Spurious Nib #18
Mrs. Melba Swink, mother of twelve, invented the cha-cha while sweeping her kitchen in 1919.






Spurious Nib #94




Vladlmir Sergei was the last Soviet to hold the record for gutting and wrapping a fish in newsprint.

Spurious Nib #103

In 1901 Mrs. Renate Groot successfully instructed her children not to make noise till after her first cup of coffee. To this day Dutch mother's still revere the name Renate Groot.

Spurious Nib #73


Mrs. Harlean Teal of Shoulderbone, Georgia adopted nine month old septuplet leprechauns and raised them as if they were her own flesh and blood.

Spurious History

Theban monarch, Mentuhotep 

insisted his wife Neferu 

bring him a bowl of ice-cream 

before he would hold court.

The Spurious Nib

Volume 17

Spurious Nib#81

In 1849 Englishman, Martin Kilmead, out ran a locomotive pulling three tons of coal from Goldhanger to Heybridge.


Spurious Nib#21

May 20, 1957, 2:34 PM: 3rd grader, Kenny, "Blush Boy" Phillips gained fame by managing to lob three consecutive spitballs into Mrs. Larder's coffee.
May 20, 1957, 2:36 PM: 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Larder set a personal best for lobbing an eraser directly at a child's head.





Spurious Nib#65

Timothy Conrad, a Confederate Soldier, was laughed out of the army when it was discovered the birthmark on his left buttocks resembled a top hatted Abraham Lincoln.





Spurious Nib#72 

Prague 1795. Utz and her husband Mel Vitz had high hopes for their son. Instead the once proud mom, Utz Vitz, gave herself the honorary title, Most Disappointed Mother of the Year" after her adult son revealed he had not been attending law school . It turned out Utz's son Zindel had been playing the lute and making jokes every evening at the local tavern.

Spurious History

On May 1st, 1919, Congress passed a resolution discouraging facial hair in order to placate Russian Communist from invading Alaska.

The Spurious Nib

Volume 16

Spurious Nib #12

In 2685 BCE Egyptian sailors learned sitting in a boat leads to leaner crocodiles.



Spurious Nib #90

Shadow puppet, Gloria Darkmoore will be performing three shows at the Fortune Theatre this week. Darkmore's Shadow Hand Mastery Show will be performing, "Kangaroos in Paris."


Spurious Nib #37

Poseidon never liked how gossipy dolphins are nor how haughty puffer fish can be.



Spurious Nib #52

Felicity Q. Turddle bathed in wine every May 1st and sang the La Marseillaise.