Spurious President’s Day Edition!

You might have a lot of opinions about Presidents. Here are some things you never learned in school about them!!

George Washington was the second person inducted as an honorary member of the American Wood Choppers Hall of Fame. The first was Abe, “Rail Splitter” Lincoln. By the way, little known fact; George’s boyhood friends called him, “Cherry Choppa.”

The Egyptians first and only president, President Khepri, served for one year before Sheshi who began his reign in 1745 BC. Popular opinion polls showed that nine out of ten Egyptians felt, “President Khepri really stank.” Khepri resigned immediately after the poll was released.

Depiction of Khepri receiving shaved iced-cream after his election.

William Taft was the first president to master the high jump.

When ever Vice President Chester A. Arthur visited President Garfield he gave him an Orange Tabby Cat.

The Spurious Nib Valentine's Edition

Once again Dusty “Nibs” Japes has discovered here-to-fore unknown and some what curious Valentine facts.

If you look at the word valentine very closely you will note it is actually three words. Obviously vale is the first word. The ‘n’ is short for the word and. The third word is tines. Vale is an old word that means valley. Tine is the fork in the antler of deer. Philology experts will tell you things about words. The phrase, “valley and tine” in old Norse referred to their homes in the dark valleys that were fractured and without love. 

There was nothing happy about valentines for the old Norse!

Buskey Shoes Ad campaign in February, 1912:

 

Roses are red, your feet are sore. We have great deals at the Buskey Shoe Store.

The Buskey Shoe Company, Sandusky, Ohio.

Dr. C. Mitosies penned this to his sweetheart in February 1893:

The muscle

Of my red

Corpuscles

Beats only

For you.

Be my

Valentine

Or I’ll

Turn blue.

Some experts believe, "’Rule, Britannia!’ is a British patriotic song, originating from the poem "Rule, Britannia" by James Thomson and set to music by Thomas Arne.” However, when we played it backwards on our 1903 Edison Victrola and discovered it is a series of awkward Valentines sung to Queen Victoria! 

2/14/2018

Happy Groundhog's Day!

2/2/2018

This month's Spurious Nibs are brought to you by, 

THE FELLER'S MEAT COMPANY

Remember,

"A Feller's Monax Meat Pie is a Man's Pie!"

Spurious February

On February 2, 1873 

Dutch phenom, 

Jan Luken, 

invented 

Rock-Paper-Scissors!

SPURIOUS HISTORY

On this day in 1919 Clutes Buskey and Ubriacone Cicchetto started their famed medicinal transport business, The Shmengy Medicine Commercial Enterprise Company.

The Shmengy Medicine Commercial Enterprise Company was a great success owing to the ever increasing need for bottled medicines amongst the populace (the favorite Bottle being, Minnesota 13).

Spurious Nib Game Fact #947

The game, "Hairpiece-Not-A Hairpiece" was invented 

by Filomena Farinha's Granmpa Riccio in 1869.

Spurious Roman History

While it is true that the Roman god of fire and metal was Vulcan, the spurious reality of his down fall was based on his love for, "Rock'n out like a guitar god." 

The Muses and Apollo complained to Zeus that Vulcan was, "Just so lame. All he wants to do is bang on his anvil all day. But the worst is that stupid air guitar he plays every time we're trying to do serious music..." One day Vulcan tried to play air guitar for Persephone. One thing led to another and Vulcan was kicked out of Olympus.