Spurious February

On February 2, 1873 

Dutch phenom, 

Jan Luken, 

invented 

Rock-Paper-Scissors!

SPURIOUS HISTORY

On this day in 1919 Clutes Buskey and Ubriacone Cicchetto started their famed medicinal transport business, The Shmengy Medicine Commercial Enterprise Company.

The Shmengy Medicine Commercial Enterprise Company was a great success owing to the ever increasing need for bottled medicines amongst the populace (the favorite Bottle being, Minnesota 13).

Spurious Nib Game Fact #947

The game, "Hairpiece-Not-A Hairpiece" was invented 

by Filomena Farinha's Granmpa Riccio in 1869.

Spurious Roman History

While it is true that the Roman god of fire and metal was Vulcan, the spurious reality of his down fall was based on his love for, "Rock'n out like a guitar god." 

The Muses and Apollo complained to Zeus that Vulcan was, "Just so lame. All he wants to do is bang on his anvil all day. But the worst is that stupid air guitar he plays every time we're trying to do serious music..." One day Vulcan tried to play air guitar for Persephone. One thing led to another and Vulcan was kicked out of Olympus. 

Happy New Year!

Dusty “Nibs” Japes, Maximus Tornblatt, Lum Glowerman, Shoebox Phil, Lum Glowerman, Dr. Mayer Windfeller, Bunkie Fuzzbutton, and the whole cast of spurious characters would like to wish you a Happy New Year!

Santa's Second Favorites!

Spurious Christmas Santa Facts!

At the Spurious Nib we've grown quite tired of all those top ten list. And we tired of hearing people singing about a few of their favorite things. Therefore, we have asked archivist Dusty “Nibs” Japes to search for some spurious facts about Santa Claus. Dusty learned Santa's beloved elves have a list of all of Santa's most favorites. Here are some of his second most favorites:

When the Big Guy's sleigh is not available: only the 1919 Pierce Arrow Seven-passenger Touring Car with the 48 H. P. engine will do.

Second favorite Christmas song: Krampus' duet with Alice Cooper covering "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

No hot chocolate? Second favorite: Candy Cane Milkshake

Second favorite cookie: Krumkake

His second favorite brother is Billy. His first favorite is Kevin:

It turns out Santa's second most favorite city is Akron, Ohio! "Hey Prancer, do you know why Akron is my second favorite city? Because Akron always has a 'Good Year.' Hope you're not, 'tired' of that one!" (By the way, that is Santa's eleventh most funny thing to say as he sleighs out of Ohio. In case you are wondering his most favorite tire company is Firestone!)

Merry Christmas!

The Spurious Nib Thanksgiving Edition

On November 11, 1620 a small band of Religious Separatists along with the Crew of the Mayflower signed a Social Compact to “maintain order and establish a civil society.”¹

Our merry band of spurious reporters have uncovered a sub-clause in the Social Contract that allows relatives to “talk turkey and politics whilst standing on one foot, and facing England, the said opinion shall be sung to the tune of, "Mein G'müt ist mir verwirret" ("Confused are all my feelings")² 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

¹https://www.plimoth.org/learn/just-kids/homework-help/mayflower-and-mayflower-compact²http://meaningfulworship.blogspot.com/2015/03/17th-century-ethnodoxology-o-sacred.html